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supersonicvolvo
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Name: Alison
Location: San Diego, California, United States
Birthday: 7/26/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: reading. philosophy. modern art (not contemporary). music. indie. college radio. alt-country. lo-fi. corporate rap. golf. snowboarding. driving around. wandering around. swap meets. scary people on bart. photography i suppose.
Expertise: i know all about homeless people, mormons and jamba juice. i dislike blue gum and most of all depictions of horses. also horses' eyes. creepy.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
6/26/2003
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| every once in awhile it's good to do inventory. to take stock of all that is going on in your life and to evaluate if it looks like you want it to. i think it should be done with some regularity. and since i've never tried it until today, here is my fall 2007 quarterly report:
LOVE (9): i feel that my love life is going pretty strong. i am deeply in love with an amazing and insightful man that is also my best friend. he has seen me at my worst and at my best and he chooses to love me for it all. i couldn't really ask for more. i am having fun in the good times but also learning from the obstacles that we face together. i think this relationship has been a huge growth factor for me this past year. i think the situation is maturing me in profound ways. thanks Travis. we are engaged and getting married next year on saturday, september 13th. i am meeting with wedding planners this week so they can tell me what to do. i work about 50 hours a week so i doubt i could pull it off by myself. thanks mom, for helping pay for all of this. i am grateful!
JOB (7): i have three jobs right now. i will rate them on a scale of 1-10. ten being extremely fulfilling and enjoyable and one being exasperating and empty. i am a program coordinator at a new public charter school in south minneapolis. i'll give that job a 3 based on overwhelming responsibility, a vague feeling of inadequacy, and poor supervision/direction. oh and i dont like young kids that much. i am also the marketing coordinator of a latino market with over 40 vendors. i teach technology and promotional skills to the business owners, working with the non-profit organization where i served my americorps term last year. i give this job a 9. i know everything and i feel good about what im doing, not only in a benefit-to-society sort of way but in a confidence way as well. i never knew it was important to feel you were good at your job until i started working at the school and feeling like an utter failure. my last job is teaching software classes in spanish at the public libraries. they must think im doing well because they are giving me another class that begins next week so i will be teaching two a week. i give this job a 7. my only regret is that i dont have a full-time job with benefits.
PLAY (5): i dont really have much time for playing these days. the past two weeks i have made an extra effort to hang out more and do the things i love. i think it's working. i just dont like "scheduling" my fun times. maybe it's necessary though. i think de-stressing and blowing off steam is important. after one year of not having any time for play, i feel like this is an area of my life that has tons of area for improvement.
FAMILY (7): i have been appreciating my family much more these days. i cant even go into the weird frendship/appreciation that has sprung up between erik and i since my birthday, but i also really appreciate my parents for the first time in awhile. maybe it's a sign of growing up but i can finally accept my parents' shortcomings because i know they are human just like me. which allows me to see them for all their good qualities too. i really should keep in touch with them more, especially with the wedding coming up and all, but it feels good to not only love them, but to actually like them too.
FRIENDS (7): i think i am doing an ok job with making friends and being a good friend. like i mentioned, the fact that i actually have free time now is something that is really allowing me to focus on connecting more with the friends i have and even making a few new ones. im not the kind of person that needs a million friends but i would like the ones i have to be meaningful and appreciated. now that i have the time i am actually spending time with friends, sitting around and having good conversation, going out together, etc. it really feels good. i mean, it feels normal. roomie and i are getting along pretty well and enjoying each other's company. that's a good sign since i usually end up hating my roommates sporadically because of my passive-agressive tendencies. but i am improving a lot in this area and with friends in general, things are looking promising!
HUMANITY (8): i think the nature of the jobs i do are pretty humanitarian. working with inner-city, underprivileged youth. working with minority entrepreneurs in dilapidated neighborhoods. working with underprivileged adults to improve their marketable skills. these are all things i feel good about. all of them are at non-profit organizations. i'm not doing much outside of my jobs to help humanity but i spent a year in national service with hardly any income so i feel as though i've paid my dues. after i make a decent paycheck for awhile, i'll think about contributing more to good causes.
SPIRITUALITY (?): i learned once that the way i feel about God has nothing to do with the way He feels about me. my assessment of my spiritual life cant be very accurate because sometimes deep understanding and life-changing epiphanies are just around the corner. in fact, it usually happens at unexpected moments. so i'd prefer not to rate my spiritual life. what can be said then? i wish i read scripture more often. i wish i based my life on it more directly. i hope i always think these things.
EDIFICATION (9): i was inspired last week to get going on one of my life's biggest (and most ambitious) goals. i want to learn 12 languages by the time i am 30 years old. i want to spend my middle age working in international diplomacy. and beyond my own personal gain, i want to understand other people and cultures as much as possible, which is why languages are so important to me. so, the update is this. i am halfway through my 2nd course of Arabic. i can read and write common arabic and even the type used in the Qur'an. i can also say and understand simple phrases. i am beginning to learn conjugations and beyond. i feel really good about this because it is a language and culture that is so important in today's world society. what a misunderstood culture and i am fortunate enough to have access to it and learn as much as possible about the middle-east through the people i meet in class and at the mosque where i am taking the class. i am also committing to 2 hours on rosetta stone with each of the following: Russian, German, Italian, and Greek. they are all from separate root languages which should help me not to get them mixed up. i am really proud of the effort i am making with language and i cant even begin to imagine the payoffs later on down the road.
that's pretty much my life right now. i guess i just wanted to take stock for my own well-being and to keep in mind the goals and dreams i have for myself. i always want to be making progress in all things. thank God i have the capacity and opportunity for all the wonderful things in my life right now.
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| "inappropriate" means you are doing something that is awkward, unacceptable, and improper. it means stop it. if somebody tells you something is inappropriate, this is not secret code in woman-speak for 'please do exactly what you are doing again because i really liked it'. it means cut it out.
i usually love all aspects of my job. i love helping people. i love introducing them to computers and the internet because i can see the world that opens up to them. i love the look on their face when the realize how much easier everything will be once they learn how to use excel, internet, publisher, whatever. i love knowing that something i am doing is really going to help them out. financially. personally. i get a lot of satisfaction out of what i do at the office. but what i am really getting sick of is the guys.
working in a small business assistance office, the guy/girl ratio is supremely off-kilter. most of the people i deal with are men and i'd say about half of them are no problem at all; they are extremely professional. i have no issues with the businessmen that are driven and motivated and simply want some help to open or run their business. this is my job. that is what i enjoy doing.
what i do NOT enjoy doing is fending off the advances of complete strangers every single day.
now, it may sound crazy but i am absolutely sick of getting compliments at work. a girl said that? well, yes. when you are the 50th guy this week asking me out, telling me that we 'are going salsa dancing this thursday night and you know i want to learn from a real latino' and you 'dont care if i have a boyfriend because you have a girlfriend too and it will only be innocent fun' and 'what your boyfriend has a problem with you meeting new people and making new friends?', i just want to summon all the strength i have left in me and knee you in the crotch in hopes that maybe your wiener will stop feeding you these idiotic lines that come pouring out of your mouth like vomit.
i dont actually CARE if you think i have nice eyes or cute hair or that im really intelligent or gorgeous or one-in-a-million. nor do i care if you dont usually fall for people but there's "something special" about me that really affects you in a way you've never felt before. no, it's not because i dont hear enough compliments and you are the only guy on the face of the earth that has found it in his heart to love me and tell me these kinds of things. as if you are fucking christopher columbus discovering new, uncharted territory in the form of a woman who has never been admired by human beings before. when you say things like that it's actually degrading and not a clever compliment at all. and let me tell you that it isn't because i dont believe that im beautiful or fun or exciting. and no, in fact, it isn't because i am merely not ALLOWED to date people that i meet at work due to some regulation or policy about dating clients. i don't want to hear these things you are telling me because I DONT LIKE YOU.
i know that's hard to believe. you probably think you are just the coolest, smoothest guy i have ever met. you probably think that i should fall madly in love with you because you made a sly comment about my sweet smile as you simultaneously winked at me, hoping nobody else in the room noticed. i know you think we are sharing some sort of secret sexual tension and every time i help you with something that i am showing you some sort of special attention. and i also know that you stay late at my work so that it just-so-happens that you have to walk down the stairs and out to my car with me. i know you think this all MEANS something incredibly significant.
let me spell it out for you: it means N-O-T-H-I-N-G. you are not special. you are not original or clever or smart. you are just like every other guy i have been working with for 8 months. you make my skin crawl when i feel you looking at me and you make the bile rise in my throat when you open your mouth because i know what is coming out. it is the same thing that 100 other people have said to me and it makes me hate you.
it's not that im masochistic and dont like to hear compliments. i DO like to hear them. from my boyfriend. who i am attracted to. and who is interesting. or from my friends who i care about and value their opinions. not from mr. just-came-in-off-the-street-pretending-to-work-on-something-just-so-i-can-socialize-with-you because to be honest you are annoying me and keeping me from helping others who really are working hard.
so when i tell you to stop talking about me or giving me compliments, i am not being polite or shy or modest. i am saying EXACTLY what i mean when i point out that:
1. it's inappropriate.
2. not something i care to hear from you specifically. (yes, it is personal).
3. you should stop
4. i dont want to hear another word from you unless you have some question or concern about work. yes, work. that's where we happen to be right now. at my work. otherwise you would have gotten slapped by now.
so why dont you take your nasty little winks and pathetic attempts at flattery and go bug somebody else. ugh. i feel so disgusting and strangely guilty because it makes me feel arrogant somehow. as if i am saying 'im so gorgeous that boys just take one look at me and cant help themselves but shower me with compliments'. no. they know exactly what they are doing and they know that in the office it is completely improper and i seriously cannot stand it anymore.
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| and every day im coming...
i am becoming
im coming
to be more and more and more
and more like them
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| every now and then when i look at you, you seem even more beautiful than normal.
-thanks. you make me feel so special.
good. you are.
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| i have found a new way to successfully clean my room. i put all my most ridiculous music into one play list and named it Clean your room! that's it. as soon as the music starts, it's like an unnatural phenoma. my booty starts shaking and clothes begin flying up off the floor onto hangers. it's magic i swear. here's the playlist:
justin timberlake - rock your body
fall out boy - dance, dance
the 4 seasons - oh what a night
all 4 one - i swear
marvin gaye - aint no mountain high enough
t. weaponz featuring pit bull - mira mira
lloyd banks - on fire (up in herrre)
amy grant - baby baby
usher - yeah
the shirelles - please mr. postman
pat benetar - love is a battlefield
eve featuring alicia keys - gangsta lovin'
mariah carey - always be my baby
gavin degraw - chariot
dee dee sharp - mashed potato
pitbull - culo remix
don omar - reggaeton latino
basement jaxx - good luck
neil diamon - sweet caroline
wicked the musical - defying gravity
ryan cabrera - true
sean paul - time code
chubby checker - the twist
lloyd price - stagger lee
pit bull - toma
don omar - pobre diabla
the end. it cant get much worse than that but i LOVE IT!!
and my room is on its way to the type of cleanliness that is right up there next to godliness.
p.s. anybody that wants to make me a pure pitbull/don omar mix cd i will pay in kisses.
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